On nights like tonight…
we strip each other of our preconceived notions
we allow the raw versions of our selves to be present in front of one another
we judge each other, our efforts, our art, the inner most workings of our psyche, the deep thoughts on aesthetic production we have yet to share with the universe
we outweight our theory against one other before we release it and for a single moment
the horrid possibility of presenting the raw - true self to another
the horrid possibility of this self being rejected
the horrid possibility of being ridiculed when we expose our theories to each other
furthermore the horrid possibility of not being understood
am I to think of pleasant color fields or childhood memories?
am I to admit to myself I feel anxious when I expose myself to you?
am I to admit that Magritte’s apples are all I think about?
am I to conceive of a universe in which you proving that I can be art-wrong makes me happy?
A single ephemeral moment of perceptual deprivation thus...
transcends my understanding of the universe around me
transcends my undestanding of art and aesthetic production
transcends my understanding of the you I feel…
the you I sense
the you I judge night after night
the you who is brave enough to expose your raw naked theories upon me
the you I dare not reject
the you I try to understand with an open mind in spite of my shortcomings
the you I expose my naked raw theories to on nights like tonight
the you that makes me art-wrong and happy about it
the you that provides me strength when my theories are weak
the you who bestows aesthetic beauty upon me and accepts me for the ethereal being that I am after you strip me of my anxieties, my conscious self and my inner most abilities to disappear sometimes
On nights like tonight
the possibility of pleasant color fields
deprives my perception of the you I feel
because... I am art!
Play video to see James Turrell's Roden Crater